The Scaredy-Boss
by SecretlyAPoro
Summary: "YOU SHITTY BOSS, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU HOLD A GUN!" "SOOOORRYYYYY!" "WHY ARE WE STUCK WITH YOU FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Basically now I'm a mafia boss of an elite assasination squad, (no) thanks my Guardian Angel. FEM!Xanxus. OC. OOC. AU. Pairings undecided. T for language and Varia.


**Target 0: Rebirth**

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Three shots, a sharp pain in my chest, then a realm of darkness.

I have no idea what happened.

"Wake up."

_What on earth? W-where did that male voice come from? _

"I got into so much trouble for this, you better fucking cooperate with me."

I tried to say something in response to that voice. Something along the lines of _"Mind fixing your language?",_ but no sound came out of my mouth.

Heck, I couldn't even move!

_What on earth is going on?_

"Calm down, Master. You'll be fine, I promise."

Uh... why is this male voice calling me "Master"?

"It's a long story, really."

_This male voice can read my thoughts?!_

"Of course I fucking can. I'm your goddamned guardian angel. Geez, Master I swear to God..."

_G-Guardian angel?_

"Uh... yeah. That's a long story too." I could almost imagine a sheepish smile on my um, "guardian angel"'s face.

_I assume you're gonna tell me now?_

"Sorry Master. Maybe... uh, not now. But, but, but! On the bright side, the transfer process is almost complete!" He sounded cheerful, as if he was used to doing whatever a "transfer process" was. I decided to ask him about it.

_Wait, what transfer porcess? What is even going on? Can you at least explain-_

"Alright it's done!" the voice chirped, not even letting me finish my question.

_...that was helpful._

"Hehe, sorry Master," a pause, "But hey... At least you can open your eyes now!"

_Now?_

"Yep. But no matter what happens... _don't freak out_."

And then silence. I expected him to say something, or at least explain my situation, but there was nothing. Just silence.

And so, I slowly fluttered my eyes open.

Hold up ... are my legs moving?

I looked down. Then up. And all around.

My legs. _They're moving_.

I realized was walking along a small, crowded street. I winced as my nostrils took in a disgusting stench. The air here reeked heavily of alcohol and urine. I swallowed my urge to vomit the contents of last night's dinner.

Ah, something, or rather, _someone_, was holding my hand.

I looked up.

She had unruly dark hair and eyes as grey as rainclouds. A ragged, brown covered her bony frame, and she seemed to be in a hurry.

I stared at her intently. I have never met this woman before, and yet something in me tells me to just follow her. Is she one of my family members? This... This "guardian angel" thing is probably a prank. However... I doubt that my parents have any relatives that live in places like this. They would not approve of such living conditions, no, not at all. Speaking of which, where are my family members anyway? _I remember we were at this party-_

W-wait a minute...

_Why is this woman so tall?_

I instantly noticed that I was only about as tall as a toddler, and that I was wearing an old, oversized brown jacket, a white shirt and a short black skirt.

_What in the world?_

This is freaky. I started to panic despite what my "guardian angel" told me.

Where am I, why am I a toddler, and who is this woman anyways? And where on earth is she taking me?

As if reading my thoughts, the woman suddenly took a sharp turn and wandered into a dark alley that reeked more of cigarettes than alcohol, and at the same time forcefully dragging me along with her. I struggled to keep up with her pace as she walked faster and faster. With my current height, it's very hard for me to walk as fast as she did.

Both of us ventured further into the dark alley. I felt sick. The stench was unbearable. There were people laying motionless on the floor, some with needles in their hands, some bruised and cut, some groaning, some silent, and some I'm not even sure are alive.

_Uh... Mr. Guardian Angel? Y'know, I-I think it's a good idea for you to come out now and explain things... _I tried mentally calling out to him, but there was no reply.

Great.

Trying my best not to stare too long in fear of provoking unwanted violence, I just kept on walking and walking without knowing where I was supposed to go. I almost fell down when the woman suddenly stopped walking.

A large, almost creepy grin was carved on her previously frowning face. Her eyes widened, and she looked genuinely happy.

_My gut tells me that something is definitely wrong with this woman_.

Curious at what made her light up all of a sudden, I looked at the direction she was looking at.

In front of us stood a well dressed man who, judging by his looks, was in his mid 50s. A brown overcoat, a white dress shirt, a black tie and a pair of black pants were enough to tell me that he was making big money. People at Father's parties would wear similar clothing to show off their wealth. But what caught my eye was the red scarf that hung loosely around his neck. It looked old and worn, the complete opposite of the rest of his clothing, but for some reason he still chose to wear it. It has some sort of sentimental value, perhaps.

I snapped out of my reverie when woman nudged my shoulder.

"Come on," she said, the stiff grin plastered on her pale face, "Say hi to Vongola Ninth, Xanxus."

What.

Whaaaat.

My name isn't even Xanxus! It's... It's...

Wait. I... Don't remember.

No, no, no, this can't be happening. Why can't I remember my own name? _What's going on?!_

The woman's grip on my hand tightened. Her eyes narrowed.

"Xanxus-" she started off, but then suddenly she froze.

I blinked. Twice. Thrice.

The air was suddenly still. The hushed murmuring echoing throughout the dark alley suddenly stopped.

I poked the woman in the side. Pinched her. Even lightly punched her arm.

She didn't budge.

Slowly starting to panic again, I looked around. "Vongola Ninth" - whoever this man was - was smiling, yet he was motionless. The bodies - dead or alive, who knows? - scattered around the alley were not moving as well. I caught sight of two birds, their wings still, beaks open, and yet they were stuck mid-air, as if there was some kind of mysterious force holding them up there.

Nothing was moving. Not even a muscle.

Except me.

"Yo, sorry, Master, had a bunch of things to settle..." a familiar voice called out from behind me.

I immediately turned my head towards the direction the voice was coming from, "Mr. Guardian Angel...?" Wow, even my voice is squeaky, just like a child's.

And behold, there he was, a lanky teenager with strawberry blond hair and bright vermillion eyes. He grinned at me and I noticed his elongated canines.

I smiled lightly, glad that he has come to hopefully explain things.

And that's when my eyes wandered down to his clothes.

And I noticed the dark, red stains that I recognized as blood.

My eyes widened. My smile faded.

He noticed.

"N-no, master, this isn't what it looks like-"

Not paying heed to whatever he was going to say, I screamed.

**-Target 0, End.**

**A/N: Tldr; I cringed at my old writing style. To those asking, "Can Tsuna even be the same age as Xanxus?" "Isn't Xanxus way older?" Well, don't expect the plot to be the exact same as Akira Amano's, because wouldn't it be boring to read the same thing all over again? (at least I think so) (and yes I know this chapter is similar to what I wrote before) Don't worry, I planned a whole roller coaster ride ahead. ;) Remember to vote for your favorite pairings and also to RnR! :)**


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